Let Me Love You
by VespertineFlora
Summary: After many months together, John finally convinces Karkat to uphold his end of the "you show me yours, I'll show you mine" bargain, despite the troll's apprehension to do so. JohnKat fluff with smut, advisory for alien genitalia


Homestuck (JohnKat) - PREVIEW

Summary: After many months together, John finally convinces Karkat to uphold his end of the "you show me yours, I'll show you mine" bargain, despite the troll's apprehension to do so. JohnKat fluff with smut, advisory for alien genitalia (as in tentabugles lol).

A/N: My headcanon for tentabulges is that the release of genetic material is controlled by an internal and an external sphincter, or an involuntary and a voluntary sphincter, respectively. Basically, the stimulation of contact triggers the release of genetic material past the internal sphincter, but the troll has general control over the external sphincter (as much as one has control over any voluntary sphincter), so as to prevent the genetic material from simply being released all over the place as it is with humans. This just makes sense to me because it would actually give the trolls a chance to get to the bucket and use it as a receptacle for genetic material, as opposed to using their partner for that. So this was written under that assumption.

* * *

They'd been together, or in Karkat's language, they'd been matesprits, for over eight months and John had never been happier. Sure, it was Karkat, and the troll was moody, often acted grumpy, but it hadn't taken John long to figure out that it was usually just an act and when he was with Karkat he felt content and safe and perfect. All that time he'd spent waiting had certainly been worth it.

It had taken John nearly three years to come to terms with the feelings he'd started developing for his troll palhoncho. He hadn't been sure what to make of his feelings at first, as the romantic desires he'd felt towards Karkat were only vaguely different than the feelings he had toward Dave or Rose or Jade or any of the others. He'd just… wanted to be close to him. John's desires had first started as a need to cuddle the ever grumpy troll, a need to put one of those rare smiles on his face. Everything had started there and over time John realized that he… wanted to sleep next to Karkat, hold him tight, and eventually he wanted to kiss him.

For a long time though, there was nothing sexual about the desire, which was probably what kept him from blurting out the feelings he didn't quite understand yet. Plus, Karkat had only once confessed to ever having any sort of feelings for John (and they had been black feelings at that), so John had doubted that Karkat felt the same. Not wanting to ruin their friendship with something that John was only half-sure he wanted, John had resolutely decided to keep his mouth shut.

Expectedly, it was Karkat that confessed first. The troll was hardly one for subtlety or keeping secrets (Dave had been sarcastically offering him poker face lessons for years, and Karkat hadn't even bothered to sarcastically accept) so just about eight months ago, Karkat had spilled the beans that he was flushed for John and John had confessed his own romantic feelings.

It wasn't until they actually kissed that John realized very suddenly that he was definitely attracted to Karkat and quickly got over his confusion about exactly what he wanted from their relationship.

And they moved slowly together, neither very experienced with anyone else, and particularly not with another species. They spent so many months kissing and just holding each other (in private of course as Karkat went into instant grump mode whenever John clung to him around others, as if he had some macho reputation to uphold, though seriously that was a laugh; by the time they'd finished playing Sburb, Karkat had probably cried at least once in front of everyone) that people outside of their relationship actually got a little frustrated with it. Dave actually told him to just jump Karkat already, which really only succeeded in making John blush furiously.

It was almost five months before they even got off together the first time, fully clothed and holding each other tight, panting heatedly into each other's ears while Karkat cursed softly and John moaned and they pressed their hips together through layers of clothing until they both came and then clung to each other for nearly an hour afterwards, though it was probably mostly because John wouldn't let go (and though Karkat wouldn't admit it aloud that he liked it, he certainly hadn't tried very hard to get away, not even to release the genetic material that had been produced by their activities).

They'd progressed since then of course, slowly but surely. John learned how sensitive Karkat's horns were when he was already aroused and Karkat learned about nipples and how sensitive THEY were when John was aroused. Karkat's hands had slowly explored their way around John's entire body, touching him everywhere, eventually shedding his clothing, though the first time he'd seen John without pants had turned out to be more explorative than sexy, at least at first. Karkat had seemed absolutely perplexed by his human anatomy and they had spent a long afternoon together as Karkat traced his fingers over John's skin and John watched him with minimal urgency (though eventually that changed) and a goofy smile on his lips at the wide eyed and curious look on his boyfriend's face. Karkat admitted later on to having asked Kanaya about the subject, but not even her thorough explanations had properly prepared him to face the real thing.

Troubling though, was that after that afternoon, John had wanted to have that same intimate moment of exploration with Karkat. He could only assume that because Karkat had been so eager to take his time that troll anatomy was wildly different (and Karkat confirmed as much when John brought it up, though he would give no details), and John wanted that same opportunity. Karkat's hands on his skin had been intimate and amazing, but after that, the troll refused to let John anywhere near him when his pants might need to come off as if he'd suddenly become self-conscious of his own anatomy. John told him over and over that he just wanted to see, but for months Karkat remained insistent that he was aware of how humans reacted to alien things and he wasn't going to even risk the incredible freak out John would have, end of discussion (though the discussion would only really end because at that point Karkat would kiss John and grope him, which wasn't really a fair distraction considering how effective it was).

John only managed to make any progress when Dave and Terezi happened to butt in (much to John's embarrassment) and Terezi went off to have a word with Karkat.

That night, Karkat acted grumpy and betrayed, but eventually pushed John lightly back onto their bed, grimacing down at him. "So, you want to see? You want to see so bad you sent Terezi after me?"

The teen grinned at the troll, though it wasn't without a touch of humility, seeing the soft red hint of color on Karkat's cheeks. "That was an accident, I swear. She asked me about it all of a sudden. What was I supposed to do, lie?"

"Yes," Karkat replied immediately, grimacing, his arms akimbo. "You should have lied your stupid, adorable face off."

John laughed a little. "Well, it's too late now."

Karkat stepped towards John and his hand pushed into his hair a bit roughly, though John understood it as a sign of affection. "It's never too late. Next time she asks just tell her I showed you."

"Karkat," John scolded with a soft frown as he leaned his head against his hand. "Come on, it's not fair. You've seen me a bunch of times."

"It's not fair, it's not fair," Karkat mocked him lightly, his hand still brushing through John's hair and softening his sarcastic tone. "You know there's a whole fuckton of shit that isn't fair. Seriously, this is so not important that it's probably at the 'who fucking cares anyway' end of the not fair spectrum."

John put his hand over Karkat's, removing it from his head. He knew that Karkat was nervous about this. He knew that his boyfriend was just afraid of John's reaction, afraid it would scare him away. Though the troll had never said it aloud, John knew he was afraid to be alone and was afraid that their differences would scare John away—then again, John knew that Karkat had nothing to worry about. Sure, he had no idea what to expect, and he hadn't exactly gone digging for the information. If he'd asked around, Rose or Kanaya probably would have told him, but… he didn't care. Karkat made him happy and he really didn't care what Karkat had going on in his pants.

Besides that, he wanted to make Karkat happy as well.

Holding the troll's hand in his own, he looked up and gave Karkat a serious look. "You don't have to be afraid, you know. I love you. Nothing you show me is going to change that."

Karkat's face fell, his eyes suddenly unable to meet John's. He muttered, "How would you know?"

"Hey," John said defensively. He tugged at Karkat's hand, giving it a squeeze. "I know, okay. I just do." His lips turned upwards as he said with a teasing tone. "Besides, Rose and Kanaya are still together, and so are Dave and Terezi. If they could be okay with it, why couldn't we? Are you trying to say they're stronger than us? Do you think they love each other more?"

Karkat's face immediately stiffened with resolve. "Fuck THAT. Hell fucking NO." As Karkat continued, John could detect a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but it was the type of sarcasm that he only half meant. "As often as I'm willing to admit what a fuckass I am, we own the fucking RIGHTS to the sappiest matespritship in the entirety of the universe WE fucking created. You're right, we could kick their asses in some nerdy interspecies love competition! They have got nothing on us or the depths of how UNNATURALLY fucking adorable our matespritship is. They can't even hold a candle to it! They could fucking try, but they couldn't even light a match to get the fucker burning because all the matches in the universe know DAMN WELL which of their gods has the greatest red rom in the HISTORY of red roms, so the matches wouldn't even BOTHER wasting their time." He gave John a pointed look. "Is that the response you were looking for?"

Of course, by the end of it, John was grinning like a fool. "Yes. Yes it was. Those were the most perfect words you've ever used to describe our relationship. Now come on!"

"You're far too eager," Karkat replied flatly.

"And you're trying to change the subject!" John retorted, tugging at Karkat's hand insistently, pouting at him. "I'm not going to drop it, so just… let's just get on with it, okay?"

Finally, Karkat's shoulders slumped. He let out a short, sharp breath and said, "Fine. Fine, you asked for it. Just..." Karkat's voice fell, and John saw him swallow, "Just promise you won't have a fucking meltdown or anything okay."

"Of course!" John replied instantly, an offer of reassurance.

"Okay," Karkat said resolutely, took a deep breath. "Close your eyes."

"You're not going to just run out of the room when I do, are you?" John accused.

"Oh, what a brilliant fucking idea! I wish I'd thought of it!" he said sarcastically, then added, "No, I'm not going to run, you derp. We live in the same apartment, where the fuck would I go? Now just close them. And no peeking."

"Fine," John said with a sigh, doing as he'd been told and closing his eyes. He… was a little nervous, if he was honest with himself. It didn't have anything to do with whatever anatomy Karkat had, or at least John didn't think it was, but… Karkat was his boyfriend and he was about to see him naked for the first time. It was natural to be nervous about that sort of thing, regardless of species… at least John thought it was. He hadn't really had any exposure to this sort of thing to know for sure.

He heard the ruffling of fabric, zippers unzipping, the soft fwumping noise of articles of clothing hitting the floor… and after a moment, John felt Karkat sit down next to him, their thighs touching. The troll's hand moved over his, gripping it lightly, as if doing so would keep John by his side.

"Okay," he finally said after a while. "Open your eyes."

And he did. His eyes were first aimed for Karkat's face, but the troll was looking away from him, and his face was desperately flushed. Mentally buffering himself, his eyes moved down Karkat's body, over the nippleless chest, the obviously missing belly button, and then…

"Woah," John said out of reflex as his eyes fell on Karkat's lap. He could feel his eyebrows jump up his forehead, his eyes widening as he tried to absorb what he was looking at.

It was… a thicket of dusky-red tendrils, writhing against one another in Karkat's lap and John just took a moment to… look. It definitely looked nothing like a human penis, that was for certain. He couldn't tell how many individual ones were wrapped together, but it was definitely several and they were constantly shifting against each other, even as the rest of Karkat's body remained deathly still, as if… it was alive or something. Well, no, obviously it was alive, but it was as if it was alive separately from Karkat being alive.

John remembered Karkat doing more or less the same thing to him, taking a minute to take it in with his eyes before touching, so John felt entitled to doing the same. He knew though, that there was no better way to get used to this than to just jump in head first. So he went for it.

He kept his hand wrapped around Karkat's as he shifted slightly to reach across himself towards the bulge. Nervous, his hand landed on Karkat's thigh and he felt Karkat jump beneath him.

And then something even more interesting happened; John watched with still wide eyes as one of the thin tentacles began to unfurl itself from the bunch, creeping a few inches down Karkat's thigh, as if reaching out for John's hand. Intrigued, John extended his finger to it, and much to his surprise, it curled around the digit, squirming lightly. It felt… interesting. The tentacle was silky soft and as it touched his finger, it became slippery, sliding smoothly over his skin, lightly squeezing the finger rhythmically.

John pulled back slowly, not trying to get away, only exploring. As he moved his hand, the other tentacles began to move for his hand as well as if to stop its escape.

It seemed there were six little appendages in total, each about the thickness of his index finger, each about a foot long if John was estimating right. Venturing forward, the little tendrils immediately reached for his hand, wrapping around the digits, one circling his wrist as if to keep him from moving away again.

To be honest, it was actually… sort of cute. Yeah, it was still really weird, but as the little tentacles swirled around his fingers, gliding over the skin, John felt himself smiling more and more. He didn't really know what he was doing, but he didn't seem to need to. Each little tentacle seemed to have a mind of its own, seemed to seek attention without John needing to do very much, though he found it quite enjoyable to run his fingers along the soft tentacles, like… petting a little snake or something.

As one of the tentacles twirled around his thumb, he finally let out a little laugh, "I think it likes me."

"Damn it, Egbert," Karkat growled in a low voice—the words were followed by a tense, guttural noise that made John shiver and he suddenly looked back up at Karkat. The troll's face was somehow even redder than before, and he was panting softly through parted lips, his eyes squeezed shut. Somehow, John had missed the way Karkat was absolutely clinging to his hand. He said breathlessly, "Everything's a fucking game to you."

The sight was enough to send an immediate surge of arousal through John's body and he sucked in a breath. He hadn't even realized… hadn't thought… But Karkat was shivering as the tentacles wrapped and unwrapped around his fingers, and John suddenly realized that HE was causing that, that it was his hand putting that look on Karkat's face and within a few seconds John's face had flushed the same shade of red as Karkat's.

He leaned in towards the slightly smaller male, pressing his lips against his cheek, whispering a soft, "I love you" against the skin and his fingers continued to comb through the tentacles.

"F-fuck," Karkat gasped softly. He followed the curse up with a long keen as John glided his forefinger and thumb along the length of one tendril, Karkat's fingers wrapping even more tightly around John's.

John had no idea what he was doing, but god those noises, the sound of Karkat panting heavily, feeling his body shiver next to him, John was absolutely devouring this. He kissed softly along Karkat's cheek, settling on a spot on the corner of his jaw to start sucking lightly on the grey skin.

Karkat's hand finally released his, gripping onto his thigh instead. His skin was heated through the fabric of John's pajama pants and feeling his hand inches away from where his arousal was now pressing hard against his pants made John swallow hard as fingers slid along the slick surface of the tentacles.

Suddenly Karkat's face turned towards his, possessively capturing his mouth; John felt Karkat's tongue probing and John immediately parted his lips. Karkat kissed him hard, as always, claiming his lips completely, and his teeth gently grazed John's lip as he sucked it into his mouth, having learned long ago how fragile human skin was. His hand released John's leg to reach for his hair and face and lock him into the kiss, while the other hand slid up the front of his shirt, his fingers finding a nipple to twist and tug softly.

"Nnngh," John released the shuddering sound against Karkat's lips, his chest pressing into Karkat's hand as his head reeled; the troll knew exactly how to drive him crazy, and John was slowly learning to do the same. His hand tightened a bit around Karkat, applying a bit of pressure so that the wriggling tentacles had to push a little harder to move between his fingers.

Suddenly, Karkat groaned hard and his hands began insistently tugging at John's clothes. He broke the kiss to order hoarsely, "Undress. Now."

John shuddered and didn't even think about protesting. He had to remove his hand regrettably and he hopped up to shuffle out of his pants and toss off his shirt as if in a race to do so, while Karkat moved up the bed. Before his shirt had even hit the floor, John was back on the bed, flopping down next to Karkat, his hand going back to the writhing tendrils as Karkat pulled him in close and kissed him hard again. The troll's hand moved over his back, tracing his sharp nails across the skin with ridiculous care; the movement made John shiver involuntarily and jerk forward against his matesprit as he smashed their lips together.

Then… then John gasped, choked out, "K-karkat," then let out a moan as one of the tentacles slipped from his grip and suddenly wrapped itself around his erection. His bones liquefied in an instant; the tentacle was warm and wet and began to stroke him slowly and John couldn't even breathe for a moment as it touched him.

Karkat's hand slowly moved over his, pulling John's hand from his bulge, and moving it back up to his face, and kissing the palm before draping John's arm across him. He gave John a teasing grin, a lovely red blush still on his face, "My turn again."

He pushed their lips together again as the other tentacles joined in, circling his erection, hot and wet and rubbing him up and down and John's voice dissolved into a long breathless keen as his hand gripped uselessly at Karkat's hair as he tried to stop his head from spinning. He had to break the kiss after a bit just to keep breathing, the uncontrollable moans now escaping his mouth unmuffled as Karkat's mouth kissed down his neck. He nibbled lightly on John's collar bone and John let out a sharp "ahh!" and bucked his hips against Karkat's.

It was… it was so weird, but god it felt amazing. He could feel each tentacle squeezing lightly around his erection, the silk soft skin feeling ridiculously good against his arousal, as the tentacles shifted, up and down the shaft, circling the sensitive head, smearing away the bead of precum forming at the tip.

The troll's hand began moving again. It slid along the skin of his back, over his ass (where he squeezed softly), then down to his thigh, the back of his knee... when Karkat pulled up his leg and set it over his hips, John's calf now wrapped around Karkat's butt and their hips and groins flush as the tentacles continued to squirm between them. John felt them against his stomach now as they continued to rub his erection, the heat and pressure intensifying with their hips pressed together like this as Karkat moaned against his chest and John used his leg to squeeze them together tightly.

"Ah-ngghh," John moaned out between gasps. His hands soon moved up to Karkat's head, having enough clarity to seek out one of the slight horns, his fingers touching the hard surface and immediately inciting Karkat to grip him tighter.

But when John didn't think he could be anymore aroused… suddenly, one of the tentacles glided away from between them. John felt the wandering tentacle clearly, even in the haze of arousal, felt it trailing down over his testicles, trailing back between his legs, where it suddenly brushed over his entrance.

His hips bucked forward out of instinct as a tense noise escaped him and he clung harder to Karkat. That… that felt… The tentacle slipped over his entrance again and he keened again, louder this time.

Karkat's mouth stopped teasing the skin for a moment and he raised his lips back to John's as he asked in a surprisingly timid voice, "Can I?"

The question sent a shudder down John's spine—though feeling the tip of the lubricated tentacle pass over the hole again certainly hadn't helped. John hadn't even thought about this step in their relationship yet, hadn't thought there was a reason to, but…. jesus, he wanted this, his body didn't even know what to expect, but he was practically aching for it. He replied breathlessly, "y-yes."

Karkat pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "I'll take it slow. Just… relax."

John nodded in reply this time, unable to find any words beyond a soft whine as the tentacle pushed at his entrance, slowly pushing its way inside. It… was weird. It didn't hurt, mostly just felt odd (though what about this wasn't odd?), but it was strangely intimate and the other five tentacles continued to squirm restlessly between their hips as the one edged inside slowly and it took John a long moment to realize he was holding his breath.

His boyfriend clung to him as the tentacle buried itself inside (wriggling around as if exploring), exhaling hot breaths against his chest as his mouth moved down to a nipple to wrap his lips around it. John finally exhaled, the breath coming out with a light moan before—

"Ahh!" John yelped as the tentacle brushed against something white hot inside of him; he gripped Karkat, his hips bucking again, his leg squeezing Karkat's body against him, and as the tentacle twisted to hit that shot again, John whimpered, his breaths hard and heavy with the arousal making his entire body throb, with the wet feeling of Karkat's mouth on his nipple, of the tentacles squirming between their bodies and the one slowly thrusting and twisting inside of him, continually jerking into something that made his mind go blank and left him only able to cling to Karkat as his fingers swirled more and more around the troll's horns.

He buried his heated face against Karkat's hair, his body shuddering as Karkat picked up the pace, the contact speeding up, making John's moans jump up a pitch with a sudden urgency as he heard Karkat groaning more and more against his nipple, tugging at the sensitive skin as John's hands stroked Karkat's horns and after a minute, he couldn't take it anymore and then Karkat gasped, followed by a short, "Fuck!"

As John felt Karkat release between them and felt the heat of it inside of him, it was only a second later that he reached his own orgasm, coming hard in Karkat's grip, before his body went completely lax. The tentacle pulled out of him and both of them lay breathing heavily against each other for a moment.

Eventually Karkat groaned and cursed slightly, burying his face against John's chest. "Damn it."

John kissed Karkat's head, feeling too relaxed and perfect from his orgasm to be concerned at the moment and questioned, "What is it?"

Karkat moved John's leg off of him and rolled their hips apart; John glanced down… and everything between them was slick and tinted red and there was a definite vaguely red puddle on the bed beneath them, slowly soaking into the comforter. The troll started, "That was the first time we've… I… I didn't…"

John let out a small laugh, pulling the faltering troll back against him and holding him close. He felt giddy, perhaps even giddier than normal, and he definitely couldn't bring himself to care about the mess pooling on the comforter. Honestly, it more adorable than it was anything else, the fact that Karkat had been so into it that he'd forgotten to hold back.

"Shut up, fuckass," Karkat said, a pout in his voice as he pressed his forehead against John. "I'm just going to go cull myself, okay?"

"Oh, shoosh you. We can wash the sheets, it's fine," John told him, stroking his hair.

"Whatever," Karkat muttered. He held John against him a bit tighter.

John laughed softly again and kissed Karkat's head, saying the words he knew always cheered Karkat up, "I love you."

There was a brief pause, during which John knew Karkat was trying to decide if he wanted to be cooperative or not, before be finally replied begrudgingly, "Love you too."

"And I told you you wouldn't scare me away. That was a little weird, but… I could totally get used to it," John felt his cheeks heat up a bit, but he still had that post-coitus smile on his face as he inhaled the soft scent of shampoo in Karkat's hair. Hell, he was already used to it, he supposed. After all, it wasn't like he needed to… adjust from working with human anatomy or anything. And like he'd told Karkat, if Dave and Rose could get over their differences, John could do it too. Then the idea suddenly occurred to him that… well, Terezi and Kanaya were girls and… "So are girls trolls… differently equipped than boy trolls?"

Karkat pulled away from him with a hard look, narrowing his eyes. "Why does that matter?"

"No!" John grinned sheepishly and protested before Karkat could get the wrong idea and start getting all jealous on him, as he was ridiculously prone to do, "No, I'm just curious!"

"Hmph," Karkat replied, flopping onto his back, "How about this, if you want to know about troll girls, you can ask one of them."

John's face heated up more, knowing he'd never do THAT. He sat up a little and leaned over his boyfriend with a grin. "I think I'm okay never knowing then," he said lightly, leaning down to peck his lips before popping back up. His stomach and side were slick with genetic material… and now that he was looking, Karkat wasn't much better. They had really made a mess. John grabbed Karkat by the wrist and hopped up, tugging him off the bed, as he chimed, "Come on, it's shower time."

Then he pulled them both into the bathroom for their first shower together.


End file.
